Rachael Ray Intervention

A few months ago I wrote about my mixed feelings concerning the most popular host on Food Network. When I first started watching 30 Minute Meals a few years ago, I enjoying watching Rachael and even thought she'd make a groovy gal-pal. As she started to become more spastic, I found myself becoming irritated with her and her cute little sayings grew annoying. Now if I see Rachael Ray on tv (and she could be anywhere these days: Entertainment Tonight, Jay Leno, Oprah), I turn the channel.

First, the food she's been cooking looks really gross. When I was a kid, my sister and I once made a concoction we called Cuckoo Soup, in which we were allowed to throw anything from the kitchen in a bowl and mix it up. Of course it was wasteful because it was disgusting and we didn't eat any of it, but often it looks like Rachael is cooking up her own version of Cuckoo Soup (the Hot Dog Mac N Cheese might be the most egregious example of this). I sometimes wonder if she's run out of ideas and inspiration.

I know Rachael has always had a lot of energy and she is the poster child for perky, but lately she seems to be really out of it. The other night Food Network ran a recent episode of 30 Minute Meals, and followed it with an older show. She was a total spazz in the first show, with her arms flailing about and she was talking a mile a minute, then in the older show she was more at ease - even mellow at times - and she actually seemed to be enjoying herself. (Hint: To tell if it's new Rachael, check out her hair. Old Rachael's hair is dark brown; new Rachael's hair is highlighted within an inch of its life.) Girlfriend is probably running herself ragged trying to film her 4 Food Network shows, film her upcoming talk show, promote her new magazine, rein in her crazy father and maybe even try to get to know her new husband. Does anyone else think she's a month away from an uncomfortable televised PR disaster?

I watched Rachael Ray's Holiday Entertaining in 60 the other night and I'd tell you about it, but I couldn't understand a damn thing the woman said. She talked for 60 minutes straight, and her hand movements were so exaggerated that at times it seemed like some kind of high-strung performance art. All I know is people don't act like that when they're well-rested, well-fed and sober. See for yourself:






Food Network, if you're asking her to act like a housewife on speed, stop it. It's not going to help your ratings and it won't do you any good if your cash cow ends up in rehab.

So rest up, Rachael. Take a vacation, spend some time with your sweetie and dye your hair back. Do whatever you need to do to get healthy.

Because one minute, you're in your kitchen and on top of the world:



And the next minute you're, well....