All Star Holiday Party Hangover

As you know, I was eagerly anticipating the Food Network's All Star Holiday Party. Although my cable was out for most of the weekend due to a storm, I was able to catch the All Star show late last night.

Rachael Ray cooked a nasty looking Christmas pasta while Bobby Flay looked on in disbelief. Okay, maybe I'm projecting but I sure as hell was looking on in disbelief.

Emeril and Paula seem like old friends; albeit type-A control-freak old friends. The ham looked delicious.

Sandra Lee, true to form, mentioned getting drunk only 2 minutes into her segment with Bobby Flay. Bobby was pretty chill and did not insult anyone or have any objects inserted into his nether regions.

Sandra Lee's dips were disgusting. Every time I watch her show, I think she's going to finally make something that is going to tempt me and so far it hasn't happened. And the spooning of the dip into the zip loc piping bag was so unnecessary! It was like she wanted an excuse to show off her zip loc "skillz".



Michael Chiarello is sexy: there, I said it.



Did Candace Olson raid Pier One for the table decorations? I kind of dug the colors, but I don't dig 100% matchy-matchy decorating schemes. It just looks so...forced.

The last cooking segment featured Paula and Rachael baking a pumpkin roll cake. Rachael constantly interrupted Paula, and she kept bragging about how she doesn't measure and how she doesn't know how to bake. I don't know why Rachael so proud of this fact or why she thinks it's endearing, because it's neither.



At one point Rachael chided Paula by saying, "Tell us what you're doing. You're talking over everything and you're not telling us what you're doing." What?! The last few times I've watched 30 Minute Meals I had no idea what was happening because Rachael's stream-of-consciousness rambling added no value to the show whatsowever.

Paula was exceedingly patient and a real gentlewoman; if I were Paula I would have taken my cast iron to the side of Rachael's head. Rachael's ADHD goofiness is tiresome enough on her own show, but she couldn't even hold it together for 10 minutes as a guest of Paula's. Rachael has disrespected Paula, all of Food Network, and the audience for far too long.

"What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? ... And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."