Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Twelve Days of Christmas, revisited

Originally posted December 23, 2005:


Ah, the holidays. Vacations are starting, guests are coming in, much chocolate and wine is being consumed. The next time I see y'all, it'll probably be 2006.

Everyone have a fantastic holiday season!

....On the twelfth day of Christmas, Food Network gave to me:

Twelve Giadas grinning



Eleven Saras sniping



Ten Sticks of butter



Nine Bobbys boasting



Eight Daves a-twitching



Seven Tylers flirting



Six Dirty restaurants



Five Ra-chael Rays!





Four Emerils yelling




Three french hens





Two Alton Browns




And...

One hungover Sandra Lee

Monday, November 13, 2006

Do we need a recount? Iron Chef Superstar Battle



It was Batali and Ray versus Flay and De Laurentiis. The winner, by a thin margin, was Rachael and Mario!

Like so many things on the Food Network these days, I had a hard time getting through this show. I was alternately bored and irritated. I was going to recap this show, but JordanBaker beat me to it with this hilarious liveblog!

Rachael's manic personality served her well in this challenge. Giada seemed like she was stressed out. I did find Mario/Rachael's dishes to be slightly more appealing than Bobby/Giada's, so I can live with this verdict.

I think Flay and Giada should get a regular show together. I liked their interaction.

In other news, I still can't stand Rachael Ray.

I am a Mario Batali agnostic, though I am intrigued by the reports that he dated Courtney Love.

In general, I'd still rather hang out with Giada (and Bobby!).

Thursday, November 2, 2006

FoodNetwork.com, Watch your Back!

Food Network seems to be getting left in the dust lately. Not only are PBS and Bravo turning out shows that Food Network should be doing, but now my home page is changing to Yahoo! Food.

FoodNetwork.com is slow, hard to navigate, and their recipe search function is terrible. Sure, I'll still have to go there for recipes from Ina, Giada, or Nigella, but Yahoo Food is going to be my one stop shop for general recipes and All Things Martha. The local dining guides and food videos will be helpful, too. Check it out!

Monday, October 30, 2006

A Feast for the Eyes and the Palette: Nigella Lawson

While I was complaining about Rachael Ray and Paula Deen, an unexpectedly delightful show has moved onto the Food Network. I'm talking, of course, about Nigella Feasts.



Let's get the shallow stuff out of the way: I believe Nigella Lawson is one of the most beautiful women in the world. This is a woman who looks as great in a robe as she does in a little black dress. Her fair skin is gorgeous and her hair has the kind of volume I've been trying to achieve my entire life. As for her figure? Well, I don't know who wouldn't notice those curves!



While she is a striking beauty in photos, it is only enhanced by her classy yet unassuming demeanor she displays on television. In both her shows and her books she is wonderfully playful with language without getting too punny or precious. She is obviously a woman of great intelligence and wit, but is grounded enough to poke fun at her lack of professional chef training and imperfections as a mother.



But the real question is, can she cook? Without a doubt, yes. She shuns low-fat cooking, opting for taste, and uses quality ingredients. Nigella Feasts, which is based on the book of the same name, has featured several dishes that looked delicious.

Yesterday's show featured breakfast foods. While the granola and the raspberry swirl looked good, the real wonder of the show was how Nigella was able to cook some late night drunken grub food (Bacon and Tomato Hash*) wearing a slinky black cocktail dress and not come off like a cheap lush. If Sandra Lee tried the same maneuver, it would be more embarrassing than endearing.



I know that some think Nigella distracts from her cooking by playing up her looks, but I disagree. Nigella's coy looks and sensuous language add to the appeal of her cooking. This isn't staged gimmickry like Sandra Lee's backgrounds and low cut costumes; Nigella is comfortable in her skin and is not shy about showing that she loves to cook. Her love for cooking is apparent in the same way as it is with the other best Food Network shows: Barefoot Contessa, Everyday Italian, Easy Entertaining. On the flip side, the worst Food Network shows are hosted by cooks who clearly would rather be doing anything else: Semi-Homemade, the last few seasons of 30-Minute Meals, and especially Quick Fix Meals . No one is saying that cooks should spend an eternity in the kitchen, but like any other profession, if a cook has love for their work it will show.

My only complaint about Nigella Feasts is the schizophrenic camera work. I thought Barefoot Contessa was bad, but that's nothing compared to the artsy pretensions that go on over at Nigella Feasts. Cameramen: we know Nigella is gorgeous, but we do not need to count her pores. We also do not need to view Nigella through a row of hanging utensils. Hopefully the handheld camera look will go out of fashion soon and we can get back to concentrating on Nigella's cooking.




Food Network has been headed in the wrong direction lately, but adding Nigella to the lineup gives me hope. Now only if they could bring back Mario and Tony.

Nigella's life story is worth a read. She is not only an accomplished cook, but an accomplished journalist as well. She's also experienced a lot of tragedy, losing her mother, sister and husband to cancer.

1The recipe isn't listed on the Food Network site; what gives?

Friday, September 29, 2006

Food Network Tidbits

(and more Rachael Ray Show fallout, naturally.)

First, a few Food Network items:


Now for the Rachael Ray gossip:

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Rachael Ray: Enemy of peace and quiet




So, the Rachael Ray Show. I wanted to watch a few shows to get a feel for it and to see if it would improve at all, but I've yet to get through an entire episode. I can handle the cutesy phrases and manic hand movement, but the screaming is what makes it unbearable for me. That, and the fact that throughout interviews with Diane Sawyer, Dr. Phil, Emmitt Smith and Oprah herself, The Rach wouldn't let any of them finish a sentence1. I loathe this show with every fiber of my being and, if you pay any kind of attention to the body language of her guests, they do too.

The biggest revelation for me is that I always assumed that Rachael started out as a nice, humble cook and her increasing unlikeability was correlated to her increasing popularity. That is, the money and power turned her into a crazed person. Now I'm beginning to think that The Rach has always been a jerk, and she just had to play it cool for a few years in order to get her Food Network gigs.

Now that she's got the world by the cajones her authentic self has emerged and boy, it's not pretty. She is consistently petulant, shrill, self-absorbed, dismissive, and downright rude to the guests and audience on her show. It's one thing for her to harp on Oprah's cheese-spreading ability, it's another to throw a hissy fit when an audience member beats her in a good natured(?) game.

I'm not the only one who is hating on this show, and Rachael must have predicted this backlash when she penned this phony, faux-self-deprecating piece in Esquire.

Still, people can't get enough of her. Her show had the highest rated talk show debut since Dr. Phil, and according to Forbes she is the 2nd most trusted celebrity in America (behind Tom Hanks, but ahead of Michael J. Fox and Oprah). I don't even know what "trusting" a celebrity means; perhaps I'm just a cynic.

She'll also appear on Celebrity Jeopardy this fall2 and two Rachael-approved music compilations will be hitting stores next month.

I, on the other hand, have had enough of The Rach and I deleted her shows from my TiVo.

It's so peaceful in here now.



1She even interrupts newspaper reporters.

2Thanks to KitchenMage for the tip!

3This morning Adam Carolla had Perez Hilton (site semi-NSFW) on his radio show and they were talking a ton of smack about Rachael. This isn't surprising since Rachael once visited Adam's resturant on Inside Dish and there seemed to be no love lost between them.